Oh, no. Every year I think, "maybe not this year," and sure enough, there comes a day when I see the telltale signs, the decimated remains of whole branches of my tomato plants. And I know they are there. I know it. I stand still and look, carefully, up and down each branch, confident that the Japanese-horror-flick-like tomato hornworm is right before my eyes. That I just don't see it, camouflaged so perfectly that I sometimes touch its fat and squishy body, a truly horrible sensation, before seeing it. And then, there it is, in all its prehistoric glory--or should I say gory. A rush of adrenalin surges through my body. I even think I hear the theme song from Jaws.
And I wonder. What else is right before my eyes that I don't see? What else is camouflaged in my life--or what do I camouflage about myself that keeps me hidden from others? What am I missing? And what do I do with that information once I discover it?
Back to the tomato hornworm. I clip the branch on which it grips and drop it into a large cup of soapy water, as every gardener book recommends. Yet. I. Feel. Bad.
Please--don't email me to tell me to get over it. I can't help it, or rather, I don't want to rationalize away this new feeling. I don't want to camouflage it. I have come to the belief that the delicate balance in my garden is necessary, that the rabbits who eat my purple beans and the chipminks who run off with every sunflower seed and the birds who dip into the berries are all necessary. And I welcome them, along with the bees and butterflies who pollinate and the other beneficial insects who add obvious value.
What good does that tomato hornworm do? Or is it just that I do good by feeding a living creature, without judgment? And does that positive energy then come back to me, or get added to the world, in other ways? And if I decide, okay, I'm not going to drop tomato hornworms in cups of soapy water anymore, what do I do so that they don't destroy my whole crop? Or do I care? How do I more fully embrace this Zen of gardening? Or have I truly gone over the deep end?
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4 comments:
Squik! Seriously, I don't know which path led me to your blog but as I squinted a bit to see the pic I squeeked out loud! *shudder* I have not had any in the garden yet but at least now I know what to look for. Teeth.... lots and lots of teeth.
If you've gone over the deep end so have I. I've found a compromise that works for me. I planted a butterfly garden full of native plants. Any bugs I find on my veggies get put on the plants in the butterfly garden. That way they still have a chance of finding food without eating all of my food.
I love that idea! I was thinking of starting a tomato hornworm sanctuary (I kid you not!)--a butterfly garden is a great way to do it! Thanks!
I. love. this. post. Love it! :D
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