Grandparents Say the Darndest Things

These are my maternal grandparents. They "crossed" in 1926 or so, which means that's when they crossed the Atlantic Ocean from The Mother Country (Ireland). My mother says I remind her of her mom, especially with my garden and how I cook without recipes. I smile every time I see this picture, how my grandmother couldn't even leave the roses alone long enough to look at the camera. My grandmother always had a garden, no matter where she lived. My mother says she had the prettiest little piece of property in the Bronx, New York, right there in the midst of all those row houses. "It's not much, but it's my responsibility," she'd say. I think of those words often, about many things in my life.

But I don't know all that much more about my grandmother, even though she died when I was fifteen. I guess there are many things I just never asked. Or I asked and didn't get answers. A few years ago, my kids and I did something so that they would not be in that position one day--not knowing. We emailed all their grandparents a different question each month for eight months, and then we compiled all their amazing, wonderful answers into a booklet, titled Grandparents Say the Darndest Things, that we reproduced for everyone in the family for Christmas.

If you have grandparents at your Thanksgiving table today, you may want to ask them some of these questions. The answers startled and delighted us:

1. Two million Americans created victory gardens in their backyards or communities during World War II so that commercially-produced food could be sent to the troops. My children's grandparents were some of those people.

We asked them: What do you remember about Victory Gardens?

They told us not just about the gardens (about which, of course, I never tire of hearing!), but also about Meatless Tuesdays, tinfoil drives, gas rationing, and even the rationing of nylon panty hose.

2. Television changed the world--the things we see and the way we interact. From black-and-white to color to cable, my children's grandparents had a front-row seat.

We asked them: What are your first memories of television?

Gosh, they loved this question. They told us how they visited friends and relatives just to watch TV when very few people had one, or how they watched it in store windows. They named shows and pined away for those early days of wonder.

3. The 20th century saw written communication evolve from inkwell to e-mail. The people we love have seen it all.

We asked them: How did you learn to write?

We loved the story about how a boy dipped my mother's pigtails into an inkwell! Even now, all these years later, my mother called him a whippersnapper and added that "Sister Mary Dolarine took care of him. He didn't sit for a week."

4. My children's grandparents lived most of their lives in a great sports city--New York. They carry their sports memories with them like trophies.

We asked them: What are your favorite sports memories of all time?

Interestingly, all the big sports memories for this gang somehow involved their children. Hmmmm. I guess you can keep Yankee Stadium. The local baseball diamond was just as memorable.

5. Summer, and the livin' was easy on the stoops, subways, buses and bikes of New York, way back when. Of all my children's grandparents' memories, we think these are their favorites.

We asked them: What was summer like when you were a kid?

Five-cent subway rides, double-feature Saturday movies with news reels, the "Library Bus" where you could borrow four books for two weeks, and the beach that took "only three buses" to get to. There was even a confession about when one of the grandparents almost drowned and promised she'd never tell. "I never did," she said.

6. Yes, they had cars when my children's grandparents were young! And, just like now, learning to drive was a big deal--the freedom, the responsibilities, the embarrassment!

We asked them: What happened when you first took the wheel?

An 18th birthday gift for five driving lessons with a note that said, "This is your ticket to freedom." Learning to drive in the Army. And in a cemetery.

7. My children's grandparents are part of a chain. They are the link to the past. My children are the link to the future.

We asked them: What do you remember about your parents?

A mom who said, just when it was needed most, "Time for a new hat!" Another mom who acted out entire movies for her children. The smell of food cooking, and a dad who read the newspaper in a black leather easy chair.

8. My children's grandparents witnessed many big events in the 20th century. They lived through history.

We asked them: What was the most memorable moment in history in your life?

When John F. Kennedy was shot. When the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded. And of course, 9/11, which brings us full circle since all of us at today's Thanksgiving table, from the oldest to the youngest, share that memory.

And so, make some memories today. And perhaps, relive some old ones with folks who love to talk. If you just ask.

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P.S. By the way, I woke up to thunder this morning. Glorious, glorious thunder. And I emptied my rainbarrel just yesterday. Yet another reason for thanks.